Wonderwall
by iamkellylouise
Summary: 'because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me, and after all, you're my wonderwall' AU Season 3 finale.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ok, the original plot for this, came from the wonder who is my bitch Clai **_**[Ziny-DiNozzo]**_** And I promised myself I wouldn't post this until I had all of it finished because I'm so crappy at posting updates but she twisted my arm, even though she's on the other side of the world, she's **_**that**_** powerful :P **

**I'm thinking 3 parts right now, but it may be more, depends on how long part 3 ends up being! But for now, enjoy, and review!**

**(And I am so so sorry for being rubbish at updating my MerAdds, my muse is gone, according to Clai my muse and her muse ran away to Canada and got married)**

**Things you need to know: Anything Addison/Men related didn't happen. **

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* * *

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_because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me, and after all, you're my wonderwall.  
__~x~_

Addison walked into the bathroom at the reception of the Burke wedding, she looked in the mirror and let out a breath before applying a little make-up, she stopped when she heard a sniffle.

"Hello?" she called out "Hello?" she called out again as she heard a whimper, she knocked on the door of the locked stall "Are you ok in there?"

"I'm fii-ine" she heard someone familiar choke.

"Meredith?" she frowned "Meredith let me in, please"

Meredith slowly opened the door to the stall, she was sat on the closed toilet, hunched over, clutching her stomach "I think I'm having a miscarriage" she whispered.

"Right, right ok" Addison stuttered "Should I, go and get Derek?"

"No" Meredith said tearfully "He doesn't know and, he ended things with me like, 3 hours ago so, I really don't want to see him right now"

"But…." Addison started.

"Please, can you just, take me to the hospital, please" Meredith whispered.

"Ok" Addison said softly "Ok, come on" she said holding out her hand, Meredith took it and slowly stood up "Have you got a change of clothes or anything?"

"I haven't cleared out my locker yet so, I still have some in there" Meredith said quietly "I, I need to tell Cristina I'm leaving, can, can you wait for me outside?"

"Of course" Addison said squeezing her hand a little "I'll pull my car up out the front"

"Thanks" Meredith breathed.

~x~

"It, it was a complete miscarriage" Addison said softly "I'm sorry Meredith" Addison said quietly as she put the ultrasound machine away.

"Don't be" Meredith whispered "No-one wants me for a Mom right?"

"Meredith" Addison said softly "You know that's not true, are, are you sure you don't want me to call Derek?"

"I really can't deal with his pity right now Addison" Meredith said quietly, she slipped off the bed and put her jacket on, she took a hair band from the pocket of her jeans and scooped her hair back into a ponytail.

"It looked beautiful down" Addison said tucking a fallen strand of hair behind Meredith's ear "You should wear it like that more often"

"Thanks" Meredith said quietly "And thanks for, doing this, I know you hate me and all so…."

"I don't hate you" Addison said with a slight laugh "I did tell you that a couple of months ago but you were kind of high on morphine"

"Oh god" Meredith said shaking her head a little "I'm sorry, for whatever I said, I really don't have a clue…."

"You said, you wanted Derek to be the one" Addison said quietly "You asked me how I knew he was and, you said you wanted him to be, but the truth is, he wasn't the one for me, I don't know who that is but, it wasn't him, but I, I really thought you were it y'know? For him, I thought you, I thought you'd be together for, a very long time"

"I don't even know what I thought" Meredith sighed "After the accident, things changed, he couldn't handle the fact that I didn't swim and I, couldn't talk to him about any of it, and that's important right? Being able to talk to the person you're with, but with him, I just felt like he was judging me all the time"

"Why don't we go back to my hotel room, order some room service, and talk" Addison said softly.

"I'd like that" Meredith smiled.

~x~

"Did you do it?" Addison asked quietly "Did you, drown yourself?" she asked carefully.

"Not at first" Meredith sighed "I was tending to a patient at the edge of the water and he freaked out, his arm flung out and smacked me in the chest and I fell back, he winded me a little so it was hard to stay up, but I was staying up, and I knew all I had to do was push that little bit harder and I'd be fine, but it was just one split second, one second when I thought, what's the point, and I stopped fighting, and then my head was under the water and, it was too late, it wasn't planned, it wasn't like I woke up every morning and thought, I want to kill myself, it was just one tiny split second decision, and, it changed everything"

"God Meredith" Addison said softly "I really didn't think you really, I didn't think things were that bad" she sighed "I knew you were a little down but, I didn't think it was…."

"You're saying it like it's your fault" Meredith said with a slight laugh "I've always been this way, always, I was practically invisible as a kid, which is why I acted out, got drunk, slept with everything with a pulse, died my hair pink, wore head to toe black, I did it for attention, I know that now, when I was young and my Mom would tell me I was attention seeking I'd tell her to go screw herself, but I know now that, all I wanted was for, my Mom to come home from work before midnight, hug me, and tell me she loved me for exactly who I was"

"Sometimes people just aren't cut out to be parents" Addison said softly "But I'm sure she loved you Meredith, she wouldn't have kept you so close to her if she didn't love you"

"I know" Meredith sighed, Addison slipped off the bed and took their empty plates, placing them outside the door and locking it behind her, she climbed back onto the bed next to Meredith, they lay down next to each other on the bed.

"I was pregnant once" Addison said quietly "Back in New York, it was, Mark's, Derek had been gone for a couple of weeks, I didn't really know, what I wanted, at the time I thought I was in love with him, but now I think about it, I wasn't really, I'll always love him, he was there when I needed him, but when I peed on that stick, I just, I couldn't do it, and then I found him in bed with someone else and, she wasn't the first, and I couldn't bring a baby into that, so I had an abortion, he's hated me for it ever since, and now, now I can't have kids, I've got 2 lousy eggs left and, it's just not possible, we're not all cut out to be parents"

"You'd be a great Mom" Meredith said stroking her arm a little "You really would, you have other options"

"I know" Addison said quietly "I just didn't think I'd be doing it on my own"

"Yeah" Meredith said sadly "Me either"

"Meredith what happened?" Addison sighed "I really thought you and him were, it, I thought you were, the one for him, Miss Right"

"Derek doesn't seem to have a Miss Right, he has Miss Right Nows" Meredith said dryly "I could see it coming, and to be honest, if he hadn't have done it then, I probably would have eventually, we're just not what we were, we never have been, when I first met him, those 3 months were, a whirlwind, they were fun and flirty and perfect, it was the dream y'know? But then he keeps ignoring his pager and his cell, he starts to act really, weird, and then we're down in that lobby and, you're there, and I'm not blaming you" she said quickly when Addison winced a little "It wasn't your fault, it was him, and I stupidly thought after everything we could get it back, but we couldn't, there was just too much water under the bridge"

"Yeah" Addison said softly "I shouldn't have stayed with him, I just, couldn't let it go, he was my husband and I loved him, so I stayed, but, I was stupid to think it would work out, I mean, there must've been a reason for him going absent on me right? I should've ended it long before I slept with Mark"

"I don't know how anyone can go absent on you" Meredith said stroking her cheek a little "I mean, you're, _you_! Kind, smart, funny, beautiful, you" she said softly "I mean, there's not many people who would take care of the woman who slept with her husband"

"Yeah well, you're kind of a hard person to hate Meredith Grey, believe me, I tried" Addison said with a laugh.

"I tried to hate you too" Meredith chuckled, she slowed down her laughter and let out a shaky breath.

"Hey" Addison said softly "What's wrong?"

"I just feel a little nauseous that's all, I'm fine" Meredith sighed "I just, can't believe this happened, I only found out about the, baby, yesterday, but I feel so, empty"

"I know" Addison said moving closer to her and pulling her into a hug "It's ok, it'll get better Meredith, it will"

"I hope so" Meredith sighed "Thank you" she said quietly.

"You don't need to thank me" Addison said softly "Just try and relax, close your eyes Mer" she said softly, she took the hair band from Meredith's hair and softly ran her fingers through it, and before long Meredith was asleep against her, soft snores escaping her, Addison carefully removed herself from Meredith's embrace, she grabbed the spare blanket from the bottom of the closet and covered her with it before changing into her pajamas and climbing under the blanket next to her.

~x~

Meredith woke slowly in an unfamiliar bed, stretching out a little with a yawn, she reached her hand up and rubbed her eyes a little, as Addison came out of the bathroom dressed in a skirt and her bra, her hair wet around her shoulders, her cell phone pressed to her ear, Meredith stayed still, simply watching her.

"Nae, I know I said I was coming out this week but, I'm having second thoughts….I know you need and OB but, this is a big deal, I can't just leave Richard in the lurch and I, I have people who need me….Naomi, I know….will you slow down" she said with a slight laugh "You know I'm only a phone call away….ok, I'll talk to you soon….send my love to Maya and Sam….bye honey, love you too" Addison put her cell on her dressing table and grabbed a towel from the back of the dresser chair, wrapping her hair in it and moving to the closet to pick out a shirt "I know you're awake Meredith" she said without turning around, Meredith let out a slight laugh "The snoring stopped" she said looking at her with a smirk.

"Oh god" Meredith groaned, sitting up and bringing her hands to her face "I'm sorry"

"Don't be" Addison laughed "I used to live in the middle of New York, and I've slept in beds next to Mark, he snores like a trucker, I can pretty much sleep through anything"

"Good" Meredith said with a slight laugh, she reached across to the bedside table and picked up her cell "Cristina and Burke landed in Hawaii safely, she says if she comes back to find me either sleeping with or moping over Derek we're not friends anymore" she smirked.

"Well, I'm sure we can work that out" Addison said as she slipped on a shirt "I'm guessing you didn't tell her about…."

"I'll tell her when she gets back" Meredith said quietly "I didn't want anything to interrupt her day, I don't want anyone else to know, just us three"

"Meredith" Addison sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed "I know you don't want too but, you really should tell Derek"

"I know" Meredith whispered "It's just, I don't want him to feel, obliged to be there for me, I don't need anyone else there, and especially not him"

"I know" Addison said stroking her cheek a little "Go and have a shower, we'll go to your place, I'll make us some lunch, and then we'll call him over, ok?"

"Ok" Meredith breathed, she slipped off the bed and moved towards the bathroom door "Addison?" she said turning back "What was that all about? On the phone?"

"When I was in LA I got a job offer, I was going to take it but, I changed my mind, I'm needed here so…."

"Addison if, if this is about what happened yesterday then…."

"It's not just that" Addison said softly "I have Bailey and Callie and, they're both going through some stuff right now, and Richard's not really being himself, I don't think leaving him without an attending is the best thing for him right now, you're part of the reason yes, but not the only part ok? So don't go feeling all guilty or anything"

"Ok" Meredith said with a small smile before moving into the bathroom.

~x~

"Hey" Addison said opening the door to Meredith's house to face a very confused looking Derek "Come in"

"Okay" Derek said slowly "What's going on?"

"Just come in" Addison sighed leading him through to the kitchen "Do you want a coffee or anything?" she asked.

"No, no I'm good" Derek stuttered "Where's Meredith?"

"Here" Meredith said walking in, sitting straight down at the table, Addison moved to sit next to her, Derek looked at them skeptically, Addison pushed out the chair opposite her with her foot, Derek sat down slowly.

"Meredith has something she needs to, tell you" Addison said slowly, her hand squeezing Meredith's leg reassuringly under the table.

"I…." Meredith started "I…." she started again, she looked to Addison and sighed heavily.

"Yesterday, at the wedding, Meredith had a miscarriage" Addison said softly.

"What?" Derek asked in a whisper "Are you serious?...No I mean, I know you're serious" he stuttered as Addison glared at him "I just, how long did you, what, how, I mean, I don't know what I mean"

"I'd only known for a day" Meredith said quietly "About being, pregnant, I'd only known for a day, and I was going to tell you, I swear I was I just, didn't know how, and then we were at the wedding and, something didn't feel right, so I went to the bathroom and, there was blood, Addison found me and took me to the hospital"

"God, Mer" Derek sighed "You should've called me"

"I know" Meredith whispered "I just, I needed some, time"

"I'm so sorry" Derek said quietly "Are, are you ok? I mean, is everything, ok? How are, you feeling?"

"A little nauseous but, ok" Meredith shrugged.

"It was a complete miscarriage" Addison said quietly "So she'll probably have a little more bleeding, and because of all the hormones she'll probably have a little nausea for a while, but in a couple of weeks, she'll be fine"

"You can go now" Meredith said quietly "I just thought, you should know"

"I mean, do you, need anything?" Derek stuttered.

"No" Meredith said with a saddened laugh "I don't need anything from you" she said standing up and leaving the room.

"She'll be fine Derek" Addison said softly "Her hormones are still everywhere but, she'll be fine"

"I feel like, I should be, doing something" Derek said quietly.

"Keeping it to yourself and giving her space is all you really can do" Addison sighed "She doesn't want your pity, she doesn't want anything from you anymore, she just knew you needed to know"

"And what, what are you doing, here? I mean, you're not friends so…."

"We're friends" Addison said quietly "At least, we are now, we did a lot of talking yesterday, and she needs someone right now, Cristina's on her honeymoon and she doesn't want to bother her, George is at his Mom's with Callie, Izzie's at her Mom's and Alex is, I don't know where Alex is but he's not here and, she shouldn't be alone, but, she doesn't want to see you, she needs some space from you, surely you understand that"

"Yeah, I understand" Derek sighed "Well I guess um, thank you, for, being here, if you need anything then, just call me"

"I will" Addison said as they both stood up, she walked him to the front door and said goodbye before heading upstairs, she slowly entered Meredith's bedroom and found her lying in the middle of the bed staring at the ceiling "Move over" Addison said as she climbed on next to her, Meredith moved over a little "He's gone"

"Yeah" Meredith breathed.

"You did good" Addison said reaching down and squeezing her hand "It'll get easier now"

"I just, don't even know what I'm feeling" Meredith breathed.

"Why don't we go somewhere" Addison said quietly, turning onto her side.

"Like where?" Meredith frowned turning to face her.

"Paris" Addison said with a slight grin "I have an apartment out there, I use it once every year, and never with Derek, just me, it's my place, it's beautiful, one minute walk from the Eiffel Tower, you can sit on the balcony at night and it's right there in front of you, we can drink champagne and eat chocolate and stuff, I can even try and get a private jet, go all out and abuse my trust fund"

"I don't want you to go to all that trouble, or spend your money on me" Meredith said quietly.

"Meredith" Addison said squeezing her hand "All I've spent my money on in the past year is a hotel room, and shoes" she smirked "And I'm not spending it on you I'm spending it on us, come on, we have 2 weeks to kill, what have we got to lose?"

"So we're just going to, go to Paris, just like that" Meredith said with a slight laugh "Can you speak any French? Because I really can't"

"Enough to get us by" Addison shrugged "So, you in?"

"I guess I am" Meredith said with a slight laugh.

_~x~_

_Part 2 to follow…._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I wasn't going to post this until I had Part 3 finished but I caved! I know on my profile it says I'll be posting less but I do have some updates already finished so you will get to read some stuff from me! But I just won't be writing anything new!**

**For **_**you**_**, because I love you.**

**:)**

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"Wow" Meredith said with a slight laugh as Addison showed her into the apartment in Paris the following day, 11pm Paris time "This place is, incredible"

"Yeah" Addison breathed "It's, pretty great" she smiled "We should go to bed but, you have to see this first" she said taking her hand and leading her through to the large living/dining area, she pulled back the curtains and opened the double doors, they stepped out onto the balcony, the cool night air hitting them, an instant view of a lit up Eiffel Tower.

"Oh my god" Meredith said with a slight whisper "It's, beautiful"

"This is my favourite view in the world" Addison smiled "There's a table and chairs in one of the closets, we'll bring them out here tomorrow, it's the perfect place to eat, we'll need to go shopping in the morning, I called ahead to the doorman when you were asleep, he got someone to go out and get us everything we'll need for the morning, juice, coffee, all that stuff, so, we're all set"

"Sounds great" Meredith smiled "Thank you for bringing me here"

"The only other people I've brought here are Savvy and Naomi, years ago"

"Why?" Meredith asked quietly.

"What d'you mean?" Addison frowned.

"Why do you come here alone all the time? Why did you never bring Derek?"

"This is my place" Addison said softly "It's like, my sanctuary, I came here before I came to Seattle, I needed to clear my head before, coming in and causing all that, trouble, haven't you got a place? Where do you go to clear your head?" she asked as they both leaned up against the railings.

"The hospital" Meredith said softly "That's my sanctuary. I grew up there. Seattle Grace until I was 5, Boston General after that. But I always wanted to go back to Seattle Grace, it just has this, aura about it. When my Mom was on rounds, I learned to read in the OR gallery, I played in the morgue, I colored with crayons on old ER charts. Most people prefer churches, schools, home, places like this, but the hospital, was my safe place, my sanctuary….what?" she said with a nervous laugh as Addison stared at her intently.

"Nothing it's just, you're pretty great you know that right?" Addison smiled.

"You're pretty great yourself" Meredith said softly.

"Well, I guess, I should show you to your room" Addison breathed.

"Addison can, can we share?" Meredith asked quietly "I just, don't feel like being alone yet"

"Of course" Addison said softly, they moved back into the apartment, closing the balcony doors, once they made it to the bedroom and changed into their pajamas they climbed into bed, both of them falling asleep.

~x~

**5 days later.**

"I don't think I'll ever get used to this" Meredith breathed as she sat with Addison on the balcony eating breakfast.

"I've been coming here for 10 years and I'm still not used to it" Addison said with a slight laugh "I was thinking, how about we go to a salon today, get our hair and nails done, go shopping for some new clothes, and go up to the top of the Eiffel Tower tonight, I know you're not a salon and shopping kind, but I am" she grinned.

"I'd love too" Meredith smiled "You're not the only one with a trust fund y'know, it's not as big as yours but, the word million may be in there somewhere"

"Oh really?" Addison laughed "You didn't think to mention this?"

"You never asked!" Meredith laughed "I'm Ellis Grey's daughter, I inherited 2 houses, sold the one in Boston, I tend not to talk about it, my friends, I mean they must know I have money, but I don't want to…."

"Rub it in their faces" Addison finished "I get that, it's worse with men though, like boyfriends and stuff, the first few years with Derek, before he started making money, were hell, he wasn't exactly scraping for money but he hated when I offered to pay for stuff, it's like his ego was getting bruised or something, it's not my fault my family has money"

"Boys are so stupid" Meredith laughed "Right, I'm gonna go have a shower" she said standing up.

"Ok" Addison smiled "See you in a minute"

"See you in a minute" Meredith smiled back.

~x~

"You look beautiful" Addison smiled as she stood with Meredith that evening on the Eiffel Tower, her fingers brushing against Meredith's hair, they stood close together, at the edge of the railings.

"So do you" Meredith said softly "I can't believe we have like, a week left here" she smiled "I don't think I even want to leave, let's just stay here forever"

"Make everyone think we've shacked up together in Paris" she said with a slight accent.

"Oh you know that's exactly what would end up on the gossip trail" Meredith laughed "That thing would be dead without us"

"Totally" Addison laughed "I don't want to go back either" she said slightly softer, they moved closer to each other as a breeze made them shiver "How are you feeling?" she asked quietly "Come on Mer, we have to talk about it sometime" she said squeezing her arm a little.

"I feel fine" Meredith said with a small smile "This has been, just what I needed, I couldn't have done it without you" she said softly.

"I'll always be here" Addison smiled, pulling her into a hug "Always, I promise"

"Me too" Meredith smiled "Always"

~x~

**2 days later.**

"What are you doing?" Meredith laughed as Addison came out onto the balcony and took the table inside, she ushered Meredith out of her seat and took the chairs inside, she returned a second later, pushing one of the large arm chairs through the double doors, she went back inside and picked up the foot stool, Meredith watched her in amusement, Addison sat down in the chair, leaving as much room beside her as she could, gesturing for Meredith to sit next to her, Meredith climbed onto the chair, she turned so she was lying against Addison's body, her head resting against the right side of Addison's chest, just below her neck, their arms around each others bodies.

"I just wanted to sit here and watch the sunset with you" Addison said quietly, her lips brushing against the top of Meredith's head "And I needed to sit in something comfortable to do it, ok?"

"Ok" Meredith said with a slight laugh, their legs were tangled together, their feet resting on the foot stool "Y'know, apparently one of the most boring attractions to see in the world is the Eiffel Tower" Meredith said after a couple of minutes "But sitting here, seeing it first thing in the morning and last thing at night, seeing it now, when the sun's setting, this isn't boring this, this is perfect"

"It is" Addison smiled "5 more days, 5 more days of this, then we're back on that plane, we get a day to recover, and then it's back to reality" she laughed a little as Meredith groaned "You'll be fine, you'll be a resident Mer, you'll have your own interns to boss about, you'll love it"

"Not everyone loves to torture interns Addie" Meredith laughed.

"I do not love to torture interns" Addison scoffed "Not ones I like anyway" she added with a slight grin.

"I have to say, once we pushed past the first couple of awkward cases, I did like working on your service" Meredith smiled "I want to work with you again this year, I, I never thought I'd say this but, I find neonatal so, fascinating, how intricate it is, it's just, amazing how you can do what you can on something so, small, I really hope I'll be a good a surgeon as you some day"

"You will be" Addison said softly, tilting Meredith's head with her fingers so she could look at her "You're already a good surgeon Meredith, but you have so much more to learn, and sometimes you'll want to give up, and you'll want to do surgeries on your own before you're ready and you'll get pissed when us attendings tell you you're crazy if you think we're gonna let you do it, but the day when you are ready, when you stand in an OR and you're the boss, the scalpels in your hand and you're going to make the cut, the feeling you get, the rush, it's like, better than sex" she said with a slight laugh.

"Better than sex?" Meredith smirked.

"I tried to use language you'd understand" Addison laughed.

"Shut up!" Meredith said hitting her on the arm "Says you, we _all_ know you've been doing the nasty with McSteamy himself on quite a few occasions since he moved out here"

"Hey" Addison said with a slight laugh "I have needs too! Even though I always feel like crap once the high's worn down" she mumbled.

"Well can't you just, y'know" Meredith smirked, Addison looked at her confused "Do it yourself" Meredith supplied "You don't need a man to make you feel good Addie"

"Oh, no no, I don't do that" Addison said simply.

"As in, you don't, _do that_?" Meredith asked with a furrowed brow "Like, ever? I feel like you're speaking French at me or something"

"I'm not a prude. It's just...I'm from Connecticut. And...and besides, for me, sex is a 2-player game. The solo thing just doesn't cut it for me. You know what I'm talking about"

"Self pleasure is a feminine right!" Meredith exclaimed "Sex can't always be a 2-player game, I do it all the time" she said with a slight laugh.

"I'm sure you do" Addison smirked "I just, don't do that"

"Wanna borrow my vibrator?" Meredith teased.

"Meredith!" Addison blushed "Did you really bring a, really?"

"Used it in the shower this morning" Meredith shrugged.

"Oh my god" Addison laughed "We so shouldn't be having this conversation" she said dropping her head against Meredith's body, she'd sat up a little so she was higher on the chair than Addison.

"Have you ever been with a woman?" Addison asked after a minute.

"I thought you said we shouldn't be having this conversation" Meredith smirked.

"This is a different conversation" Addison replied seriously, Meredith laughed a little.

"No" Meredith said with a small smile "Well, in college I went to a lot of beer fueled frat parties, me and my friends made out a few times to put on a show for the boys, but it never went any further than hands under shirts, to the disappointment of all the boys" she laughed "What about you?"

"Never" Addison said with a slight laugh "Not even a drunken kiss"

"Why d'you ask?" Meredith asked softly.

"I just, wondered" Addison shrugged "What's it like, I mean, is it different?"

"Softer" Meredith smiled "Everything seems to be, softer" she said stroking Addison's cheek a little, her hand stopped moving, their eyes connected "Addison, I'm going to kiss you now ok?" Meredith said with a breath.

"Ok" Addison whispered, Meredith slowly leaned in and brushed their lips together, both of them feeling an overwhelming feeling of content as their lips touched, it felt right, their tongues brushed together, Meredith's hands moved into Addison's hair as she straddled her body, Addison's hands were on Meredith's back, pulling her closer as they both let out moans, as they pulled away minutes later, only stopping for breath, they stopped still with Meredith's forehead pressed against Addison's, both of them panting a little.

"I've been wanting to do that for so long" Addison whispered.

"You have?" Meredith asked quietly.

"Yeah" Addison nodded, she slowly pushed against Meredith so she would moved off her lap, she stood up and buried her face in her hands.

"Addison?" Meredith said quietly.

"I just, need a minute" Addison said rushing into the apartment, Meredith sat there slightly confused for a minute before standing up and moving to the bedroom, she could hear Addison crying in the closed bathroom.

"Addison" she said knocking on the door "Addison let me in, please"

"Just a minute" Addison called out, an obvious wave to her voice, Meredith sat on the edge of the bed and watched the door, it opened seconds later, Addison stood there with her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes looking a little red.

"Addison, talk to me" Meredith said softly, standing up and stepping closer to her.

"I can't" Addison whispered.

"Why?" Meredith asked reaching out and squeezing her arm "Come on Addie, please, at least tell me why you can't talk to me"

"You just had a miscarriage" Addison said quietly, Meredith frowned at her a little "I, I know that sounds weird but, you just miscarried my ex-husbands baby and now, now we're in Paris watching the sunset and, you're kissing me" she said with a slight whisper "And I just, I can't do that with you, and not because it's bad, and not because I don't want too, because I know you're still hurt over Derek, you're still hurt over this miscarriage, and you can say you're not but you are, you are Meredith, and I can't, I can't fall in love with you even more…" she said tearfully "….I can't kiss you and hold you and _love_ you anymore because, I don't want you to use me as your rebound, and I know that's my own fault, I know I've brought this on myself but, I can't do this anymore, I can't" she whimpered.

"Addie" Meredith whispered tearfully "God Addison how, how long have you, how long have you, loved me?" she sniffled.

"I don't know when it started" Addison whispered "When, when you almost died, that's when I knew but, I don't know when it started"

"You should've said something" Meredith said quietly.

"When Meredith!" Addison exclaimed "When was I supposed to say something! You were with Derek! You loved him! What was I supposed to do!"

"I don't know" Meredith whispered "I don't know I just, I really wish I would've, known that and…." she stuttered, and then she was grabbing the front of Addison's shirt and pulling her into a kiss, their lips crashing together, Addison moaned into her mouth as Meredith stepped backwards and pulled them both onto the bed.

"Mer wait…." Addison said breathlessly "Please don't regret this in the morning"

"I won't" Meredith said cupping her face "I _promise_ you" Addison pressed their lips back together.

~x~

"Morning" Meredith said quietly as Addison's eyes fluttered open the next morning.

"Hmm, morning" Addison breathed "How long have you been awake?"

"Not long" Meredith said softly, her hand came to Addison's face and brushed back some of her hair "I don't regret it" she said quietly as she noticed a look of doubt in Addison's eyes "I promised you I wouldn't, I keep my promises, I don't regret it, last night was, perfect"

"Yeah" Addison said with a small smile "It was, it, really was, I haven't been made to feel like that in, so long" she said quietly "Are you sure you've never done this before?" she smirked.

"I'm sure" Meredith said with a slight laugh "Are you sure?"

"Very sure" Addison laughed "What are we doing Meredith?" she whispered.

"All I know is that, I feel, so much for you, so so much" Meredith said softly "But I just pushed it to the back of my mind because, I'm not supposed to feel this for you, I'm supposed to feel this for him, but I don't, Addie, I love you" she said with a small smile "This week has been, beyond perfect, I've never, I've never been able to talk to someone like I can talk to you, not even Cristina, I've never felt so, at ease, but, when I'm with you I feel, free" she said with a breath "I know you're worried I'm rebounding but, I'm really not, me and him we, we've been over for a long time, and I am still upset about the miscarriage, I mean, I didn't even know if I was, going to keep it" she said quietly "But, I'm still, upset, but you're, you're helping me through, in a good way, you know when I want to talk and when I don't, I feel like, like you know me better than I know myself, and I have no idea how you do" she said with a slight laugh.

"I don't know how this happened" Addison said softly "But, I just, love you" she said quietly, Meredith could see tears building "I love you Meredith" she whispered.

"I love you too" Meredith whispered back, kissing her softly "Let's just stay in bed all day, Paris can wait until tomorrow"

"I'd like that" Addison smiled, pulling Meredith back into a kiss "I'd really really like that" she whispered.

_~x~_

_Part 3 to follow…._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: OMG, I haven't updated this since September! Didn't realize it had been that long! This is the final part, and to be honest I'm not too keen on it, but I can't have it sitting there anymore! So, I hope you enjoy it, thanks for all the feedback so far, and hopefully I'll have something new to post soon!**

* * *

"We'll come back" Addison said softly as she stood with Meredith looking out at the Eiffel Tower on the balcony as their trip came to an end, her arms around Meredith's body from behind, Meredith leaning right up against the railings "The next time we get some time off, we'll come back"

"Good" Meredith smiled "I love it here" she breathed "I want to learn French, I've decided"

"Right" Addison said with a slight laugh "Well, I have some teach your self CD things I used to listen to on the flights here somewhere, they're all yours"

"Thank you" Meredith smiled.

"This is our place now" Addison said quietly "I never want to come here without you"

"You never will" Meredith said turning in her arms and kissing her softly "God what are you doing to me?" she said with a slight laugh.

"What?" Addison laughed.

"I never make plans" Meredith said quietly "Never have done, thinking of the future, scares the crap out of me, but now, I can't stop making plans"

"I love you" Addison said softly "I love you and, I don't want you to change for me, I know the future scares the crap out of you, and I love the fact that you feel you can make plans now but, that's not important to me, what's important to me right now, is being with you"

"Move in with me" Meredith said simply.

"Mer I, I think that'd be rushing things just a little" Addison said with a nervous laugh "I mean, we don't even know what we are and, we'd have to tell everyone about us and, it's not that I don't want to do that, I just want you to be sure because, well, they're not going to take it well are they"

"Probably not no" Meredith said quietly "I just, don't know if I want to sleep in a bed without you" she sighed.

"We'll wait, just a little bit longer, I won't move in, we'll just, you can come and stay with me sometimes and I'll come and stay with you, and when we're not together, we'll talk on the phone, I just, don't want us to rush into that, because, I love you, and I don't want this to go wrong for us"

"Ok" Meredith said softly "Well, I guess when I'm at your hotel room we can have very loud hot sex without having to worry about people hearing us" she said with a slight grin.

"Except for possibly the people in the room next to me" Addison laughed "I swear if you cause any complaints against me, well, I won't be a very nice girlfriend"

"Girlfriend" Meredith said with a small smile "I love that you're my girlfriend" she whispered, reaching up and kissing her.

"Me too" Addison smiled stroking her cheek a little "That's our car" she sighed as the doorbell rang out "Say goodbye to Paris"

"Bye Paris" Meredith said reluctantly "Wait" she said pulling Addison back a little as she went to walk away "We have to have one last kiss out here" she said with a small smile, Addison wrapped her arms around her and kissed her passionately, tongues moving together, moans escaping them both, as they pulled away Meredith grinned a little, she pecked Addison's lips before they made their way back inside, closing and locking the doors behind them.

~x~

"Hello? Anyone home?" Meredith shouted as herself and Addison stepped into Meredith's house the following day, Meredith pulling her suitcase inside.

"In the kitchen" Izzie shouted, Meredith linked her fingers with Addison and pulled her to the kitchen, Izzie, Alex, George and Callie all looked up to them.

"Hey" Izzie beamed "Paris huh?" she said with a slight laugh, holding up the post it note that Meredith had scribbled on.

"It was, very last minute" Meredith laughed "And, incredible"

"Addison, a word" Callie said firmly as she stood up, she grabbed Addison by the arm and yanked her into the living room before anyone could say another word "Now for some reason" she said quietly as she shoved Addison down onto the sofa "Nobody in there seemed to notice where your hands were but because you dragged me into all this, I did, now what the hell is going on? You're supposed to be leaving for LA, not running off to Paris with Meredith!" she exclaimed.

"Something happened" Addison said quietly "With Meredith, and I can't tell you because, that's her business, and she only wants certain people to know, but something happened and, she needed someone to help her and, I helped, because, well I didn't have much choice but, I helped and, we talked, and she needed to get away, so I suggested Paris, I have an apartment out there I use once a year, just me, so I took her there, and it was, amazing, we talked and, we laughed and cried and, it was, amazing, and then after about a week, we were on the balcony, the sun was setting, we just lay there together looking at the Eiffel Tower, which I know is very cheesy and romantic but, it was perfect, and we were talking and, we kissed" she said softly "I freaked out because, well you know how I feel about her" she said quietly "And I didn't want her to do it and then regret it, I didn't want to be her rebound, but we talked and, she loves me too" she said with a slight laugh "She loves me too and, we're going to really try and, be together, so, I kind of need your support here Cal, because when it all kicks off, I need my best friend on my side"

"I'm always on your side" Callie said softly "This is just all, I didn't think it would really happen" she said with a slight laugh.

"Me either" Addison said quietly as Callie moved to sit next to her "It all feels, too good to be true, waking up next to her and, _being_ with her, I feel like someone's going to jump out and tell me it's all been some kind of joke"

"It's real Addie" Callie smiled "She hurts you and I kick her ass ok?"

"Ok" Addison laughed "Come on, we should get back in there" she said standing up, when they moved back into the kitchen everyone dropped into quiet.

"Everything ok?" Meredith asked.

"Everything's great" Callie smiled "So, how did you find Paris?"

"Amazing" Meredith beamed "I can't wait to go back, whenever we find the time"

"We'll find the time" Addison said softly "Maybe you'll be able to speak a little French by then"

"Hopefully" Meredith smiled.

"Can I have the car keys? I think I left my cell in the car" Addison said walking closer to Meredith.

"Sure" Meredith said pulling them from her pocket, kissing Addison softly as she did so, Addison smiled a little with a blush before leaving.

"What the _hell_ was that?" George, Izzie and Alex exclaimed.

"They were holding hands when they walked in the room" Callie laughed "How did you not pick up on that?"

"How did _you_ pick up on that?" Meredith smirked.

"She's my best friend" Callie shrugged "I know her secrets Meredith"

"Ah, so you know about…."

"Yeah" Callie smiled "I didn't think she'd ever do anything about it I mean, this is all, a little insane but, please tell me you feel the same way, like really truly feel the same way, because she can't be hurt anymore, and I'll have to hurt you if you're just rebounding and you know I'll make it painful"

"It's real Callie" Meredith said softly "I promise you"

"Good" Callie smiled "I believe you"

"Good" Meredith smiled "Guys I know it's weird but, I love her and she loves me and, I just, we just need your support because as soon as we get back to work it's all going to kick off and I can't get through that without you ok?"

"Mer this is…" Izzie started.

"So hot" Alex finished with a grin and a laugh.

"Oh shut up" Izzie said swatting his arm "I was going to say, this is, a surprise, and it's a little weird but, if it's what you really want, then we're all here for you, both of you"

"Thank you" Meredith said with a small smile.

"Hey, what's going on?" Addison asked as she walked back into the kitchen.

"Nothing" Meredith smiled "Everything's perfect" she said kissing her softly "Just perfect" she whispered.

~x~

"Meredith" Burke smiled as he opened his apartment door to Meredith later that day.

"Hey" she smiled "Is Cristina home?"

"Sure, come on in" he said letting her through "Do you want, me to go?" he asked carefully.

"No" Meredith said with a slight laugh "You might as well hear what I've got to say rather than what goes around the nurses gossip line, plus I might need you to protect me from your wife"

"Ok" he chuckled.

"Hey, what's going on?" Cristina asked as she walked out from the bedroom "And why the hell did I have to find out from Barbie that you ran off to Paris with Montgomery?" she asked incredously.

"I think we should sit" Meredith sighed, Cristina raised an eyebrow at her "Just sit" she said with a slight glare.

"Fine" Cristina said rolling her eyes, they all moved to sit at the table.

"The, the thing is, me and Addison we, we're kind of, together now" Meredith said carefully "That wasn't why we went to Paris, we went to Paris to just, get away, and she helped me, with a thing, which I can't tell you right now but, it was a thing, and she helped, and we went to Paris, and we, talked, and then we kissed, and it just kind of, went from there, and we love each other, and I know it's a shock but, it's not changing, and I really, we really need your support"

"Well uh, um, of course you have our support, right Cristina?" Burke stuttered.

"Wait just one second" Cristina said leaning forward a little "You're a lesbian now?"

"No Cristina" Meredith said rolling her eyes "It's not like that, I love Addie, that's it, I'm not any different, I just, love her"

"If she's just messing with you…."

"She's not" Meredith said softly "I know she's not"

"If she screws this up I will make her pay, even worse than McDreamy"

"I know" Meredith smirked.

"Ok, well, I can get over it" Cristina sighed "But don't think you're gonna avoid the lesbian jokes, because I have at least 5 in my head already"

"Wouldn't expect anything less" Meredith chuckled "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you before we go back to work, I should go home, I don't want Addison to run away screaming after spending an hour in that house"

"Don't blame her" Cristina muttered.

"Bye Cristina" Meredith laughed as she stood up "Burke" she nodded.

"Meredith" he nodded back, Meredith smiled a little and let herself out of the apartment.

"Mer?" Cristina called out as she stepped out of the door.

"Hmm?" Meredith said turning back.

"Why didn't you come to me?" she asked "With whatever it was, why, why did you go to her?"

"It was your wedding day" Meredith said quietly.

"It wouldn't have mattered, you're my person" Cristina replied simply "That still doesn't explain why you went to her instead?"

"I, I didn't choose to" Meredith sighed "I was in a bathroom stall at the reception, she came into the bathroom and heard someone crying, she didn't know it was me, but, the thing is I, I was having a miscarriage" she said quietly "I'd only know about it for a day and, Derek had broken up with me a few hours before, so, so she took me to the hospital and checked me over and, and stayed with me, she helped me tell Derek, she listened to, everything I wanted to tell her, and then suggested Paris"

"You still should've told me" Cristina sighed "I would've been there Meredith"

"Like I said, it was your wedding day, and even if it wouldn't be a big deal to you, it was a big deal to me, I wanted you to have your day" Meredith smiled "And I'm fine, I promise"

"Good" Cristina said with a small smile "If you need me to kick anyone's ass over this, you know I'll be there"

"I know" Meredith said with a slight laugh "Bye Cristina"

"Bye Mer" Cristina smirked.

~x~

"Well this is a pretty great sight to come home to" Meredith grinned as she walked into her bedroom to find Addison in her underwear and a thin robe, Addison crawled to the edge of the bed and kissed her gently.

"I was thinking we could take a bath" Addison smiled "How did Cristina take it?"

"Well" Meredith nodded "She's getting a ton of lesbian jokes ready for us though"

"Not surprising" Addison smirked "So…wanna take a bath with me?"

"Always" Meredith whispered against her lips "Go and turn the taps on" Addison kissed her long and hard before slipping off the bed and going to turn on the taps.

"Come in" Meredith called out when there was a knock at her bedroom door a minute later "Derek, hi" she stuttered "What are you doing here?"

"I just, wanted to make sure you were ok, I used the spare key, I hope you don't mind"

"Well um, no I think uh, it's ok, and so am I so…"

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I'm great Derek" Meredith said with a small smile "Thanks for asking but, you could've just called"

"Yeah well I wanted to…"

"Honey I…." Addison started as she walked out of the bathroom, she froze when she saw Derek stood in front of Meredith and wrapped the robe around herself tightly, Meredith winced a little.

"What, the hell, is going on?" Derek asked shakily.

"I…." Meredith started "Derek I, we, I…."

"Unbelievable" Derek said with a slight laugh "She miscarries my baby then you take her off to Paris and get her into bed? Wow, you really do get around Addison" Meredith instantly slapped him.

"Meredith!" Addison exclaimed.

"You, do not get to speak to her like that" Meredith said angrily "Yeah, I miscarried your baby, and yes it was horrible, but I still have a mind of my own, and for a long time, for a long time I've felt something for Addison, and I never would've pursued it, but then I find out she feels the same and, why should we not be together? Because we've both been with you? That doesn't matter! What matters is I love her, and she loves me, and I know it must be weird for you, and I'm not expecting you to accept it, but you do not get to speak to her like that, now get the hell out of my house"

"I was just leaving" he spat "Good luck Addison, you're really going to need it with this one"

"Meredith, Meredith don't" Addison said grabbing her as she went for Derek again "He's not worth it"

"Get out" Meredith whispered hoarsely, Derek shook his head in disbelief and left, slamming the bedroom door behind him.

"Sshhh baby come here" Addison said turning Meredith around and hugging her tightly "It's ok, it's ok, don't cry, it's ok"

"I'm sorry" Meredith sniffled "I just…."

"It's ok, you don't have to explain honey, it's ok, why don't you get in the bathtub, try and relax"

"Ok" Meredith nodded, Addison took her hand and led her to the bathroom, closing the door behind them, she helped Meredith out of her clothes and into the tub, she knelt next to her and brought a wet wash cloth to her back, slowly massaging bubbles into her skin "I don't want him to hate us" Meredith whispered.

"He doesn't" Addison said softly "He doesn't hate us, he's just in shock Mer, he doesn't hate us"

"I, I just, I love you so much" she whimpered "And, I don't want you to, leave me because, he'll, he'll say things, I know he'll say things and…."

"Meredith Grey" Addison said cupping her face in her hands "I love you, and nothing anybody says or does will ever change that, ever, I am in this, we are both in this, it's just me and you baby ok? I'm right here, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, ok? I love you"

"I love you too" Meredith whispered.

"Lie back sweetheart, let me wash your hair, I've got you" Addison said soothingly, Meredith slowly lay back in the water, she let Addison massage shampoo into her hair and wash it away "That's it Mer, relax, I'm right here"

"Get in with me" Meredith whimpered "Please, I need to feel you"

"Sshh ok, ok just breathe" she said softly, she slipped off her robe and underwear before climbing into the tub behind Meredith, their legs entwined, Meredith's back against Addison's chest, Addison held Meredith's hands and wrapped their arms around her body "I'm right here" she whispered kissing Meredith's shoulder "I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here, I love you"

"I love you too" Meredith said quietly.

"We can do this Mer" Addison said softly "We can be together, I know it's new, and scary, and we're probably going to have to fight a lot of battles but, all that matters is that we stick together, that's all that matters"

"I know" Meredith nodded "I know, I just, I've spent so long wanting to be with you and, now that I am, I can't lose you Addie"

"You won't" Addison said kissing her neck "You won't lose me, now just try and relax ok? I'm right here"

"Ok" Meredith breathed out, sinking back against Addison's body, letting herself relax, the sounds of their breathing being the only thing heard.

~x~

Meredith and Addison both groaned as the alarm clock rang out at them the next morning, Meredith pulled away slightly from Addison's lose embrace and slammed her hand on it to shut it off, instantly turning over and snuggling against Addison's body.

"We have to get up" Addison mumbled tiredly.

"I know" Meredith mumbled back "Ugh, I hate this job sometimes"

"It's your first day as a resident, you can't miss it, and we need to speak to the Chief about all of this, and Bailey"

"Oh god Bailey is going to freak out" Meredith groaned "I'm staying here" she said pulling the covers up over her head.

"Mer" Addison said with a slight laugh "Come on honey, it's time to get up"

"No" Meredith mumbled.

"We have time for a shower" Addison whispered huskily in her ear "But only if you get up now"

"Well why didn't you say that before" Meredith said coming back up from under the covers with a smile.

"Come on" Addison laughed, climbing out of the bed and pulling Meredith with her.

~x~

"Well, that went well" Addison said as she walked hand in hand with Meredith away from the Chiefs office.

"He looked like he was going to pass out Addie" Meredith laughed.

"Well at least he didn't" Addison laughed back "And I don't think I've ever seen Bailey speechless before"

"Well we are pretty shocking" Meredith smirked.

"We are" Addison chuckled "But we can do this Mer, I know we can"

"Me too" Meredith smiled softly as they reached the nurses station.

"Well, well, well" Mark smirked as he approached them "So the rumors are true huh? The ex-wife and the dirty mistress are shacking up" he grinned.

"Shut up Mark" Addison said dryly.

"Why? I think it's hot" he said moving closer to them "You into threesomes?" he asked with a small smirk.

"You're a pervert" Meredith said hitting his arm.

"I was kidding" he laughed "So, Derek looks pretty pissed, you spoke to him?"

"We had the pleasure of informing him of the situation yesterday" Addison grimaced.

"That bad huh?" Mark winced "He'll get over it, if you two are really serious about this, he'll get over it"

"We're serious" Meredith said kissing Addison's hand softly "But I still don't think he'll get over it"

"Well he's been talking to me again so he obviously has some forgiveness in him" Mark shrugged "Not that he needs to forgive you, you've done nothing wrong"

"Thanks Mark, that means a lot" Addison said squeezing his arm a little "Honey hadn't you better go and get ready for your interns?"

"Yeah" Meredith sighed "Wish me luck"

"Good luck" Addison said pecking her lips "You're gonna be great"

"Have a good day baby" Meredith said brushing their lips together again "Bye" she whispered.

"Bye" Addison whispered back.

"Bye Mark" Meredith called over her shoulder as she quickly walked away.

"Bye" Mark said with a slight laugh "Will you wipe that look off your face?" he smirked to Addison.

"What?" she laughed "I'm happy, leave me alone"

"Even though this is crazy and insane and unexpected, I'm happy for you Addie" he said kissing her forehead gently "I hope this works out for you, both of you"

"Thanks" Addison said quietly "I need to go and check on some patients so, I'll see you later?"

"See you later" Mark said with a smile.

~x~

"Addie?" Meredith said with a slight whisper as she entered a darkened on-call room hours later "Are you in here?"

"Bottom bunk" Addison replied, Meredith closed the door behind her and locked it, she kicked off her shoes and slipped into the bed beside Addison, Addison turned into her and wrapped her arms around her, Meredith let out a content sigh and nuzzled Addison's neck.

"Rough day honey?" Addison asked softly.

"I guess" Meredith mumbled.

"Did something happen? Was it Derek? Did someone say something?" Addison asked.

"No, no nothing, nothing like that it's just, my, my half sister's here"

"Molly" Addison frowned.

"Lexie" Meredith said quietly "I knew she was a med-school I just, I didn't even think of the possibility that she'd, be here and, now she's one of Cristina's interns and, she wants to be, sisters and, I don't know if I can do that"

"You can't blame her for the mistakes your parents made" Addison said softly "There's no harm in being her friend"

"I know I just, I need you, I need you to help me" Meredith sighed "I'm not good at this, the family stuff"

"I'm not going anywhere remember?" Addison said pulling her in closer "I love you" she said brushing their lips together.

"I love you too" Meredith smiled "No matter what happens, or what anyone says, I'm not going anywhere either"

"I know" Addison smiled "Close your eyes Mer, go to sleep"

"Ok" Meredith yawned "We got through this day Addie"

"We got through this day" Addison said softly "Things will get easier now"

"I hope so" Meredith sighed.

"I know they will" Addison said brushing their lips together "Now get some sleep honey, I love you"

"I love you too" Meredith whispered before slowly falling asleep in Addison's arms.

~x~

**2 years later.**

"The next time we come back here we might have a baby" Meredith said softly as she lay with Addison on the armchair they had once again pushed out onto their Paris balcony.

"We will" Addison said firmly "We will have a baby, positive thinking, we will have a baby"

"We will" Meredith said turning her head and kissing Addison's neck "The next time we come here we will have a baby"

"Thank you" Addison said with a whisper "Thank you for doing this"

"You don't have to thank me" Meredith said softly "I'm doing this for us, for our family, I love you" she said cupping Addison's face with her hands and kissing her.

"I love you too" Addison smiled "It's almost midnight" she whispered.

"Our first new years in Paris" Meredith smiled.

"Our last new years alone" Addison said with a slight laugh.

"Our last new years as girlfriends" Meredith said playing with a lock of Addison's hair.

"Wha….what?" Addison stuttered, her face dropping a little.

"Next year…." Meredith started "We'll be seeing in the new year, married"

"Mer…." Addison shakily "Are you, are you asking me to, marry you?"

"Yes Addison, that is, exactly what I'm doing" Meredith smiled.

"Yes" Addison said tearfully "Yeah I'll, I'll marry you, I'll marry you" she said pulling her in for a kiss "Yes" she whispered.

"Soon" Meredith whispered back "In LA"

"Ok" Addison nodded "In LA"

"There's the countdown" Meredith said softly as they heard the crowd outside the Eiffel Tower start to shout, as the clock struck midnight and the fireworks began their lips crashed together, they kissed for a minute before pulling apart and hugging tightly.

"I never thought, I'd love someone this much" Meredith said looking into Addison's eyes "Addison I, I can't even put into words how much I love you"

"Me either" Addison said stroking her cheek softly "Lets go to bed honey" Meredith let Addison lead her through to the bedroom, closing the balcony doors behind them, they climbed under the covers and held each other closely as they fell slowly to sleep.

_The End._


End file.
